The best manager I ever had barely checked in. That was the point.
There was a period in my career when my manager and I had almost no formal one-to-ones. Not because we didn’t have a relationship — because we did. I knew what was expected. I had the space to make decisions. When something mattered, we talked. When something went wrong, I told them before they asked.
That dynamic shaped how I understood good management more than any training I have ever attended.
What Autonomy Actually Communicates
When a leader gives genuine autonomy — not as a test, not with invisible strings, not while monitoring from a careful distance — they communicate something specific: I hired you. I trust my judgment. Now go and be excellent.
That message lands differently from any other form of encouragement. It doesn’t ask the recipient to perform competence. It assumes it. And assumption, in this context, is one of the most powerful accelerants of actual competence available.
The Anxiety That Masquerades as Care
Most leaders who struggle with autonomy are not controlling by nature. They are anxious. They care about the work. They want the outcome to be right. And the checking, the updating, the looping-in — these feel like expressions of that care.
But the message received is not: I care about the work. It is: I’m not sure you can handle this without me.
That message, accumulated over time, produces exactly the dependence the leader most wants to avoid. People stop taking initiative because the initiative has, consistently, been superseded.
The Discipline of Restraint
Building a culture of genuine autonomy requires a specific discipline: the restraint to not intervene when intervention would be possible and easy. To let a decision be made imperfectly rather than perfectly by you. To ask “how did it go?” rather than “has it been done the right way?”
This restraint is harder than most leadership conversations acknowledge. It is not passive. It is an active choice, made repeatedly, to prioritise someone else’s development over your own comfort.
Coach’s Reflection: Autonomy is not absence. It is the highest form of trust. And trust, demonstrated through genuine release, is one of the most powerful investments a leader can make in the people around them.
Call to Reflection: Where could you give a little more room this week — and what might grow in that space?
Yatish Chandrasekhar is an Executive Coach and Leadership Consultant at The Yogi Compass. He works with senior leaders across industries to help them discover their True North. If this resonated, he’d love to hear from you.